my daily dose of laughter

ok... I just got my dose of major entertainment and hilarity courtesy of CNN. I was watching earlier today and of course all the anchors and reporters and special guests (like that douchebag William Bennet - the original drug czar appointed by Reagan... I thought the drug czar was the guy you go to to get your drugs - boy was that a mistake lol) are all debating the results and implications of Super Tuesday and every so often they take a break from the election to go to their various "special correspondents" (i.E. the ones they send out in hurricanes and blizzards and other natural disasters... the "disposable reporters") one of whom I notice she has a big assed cold sore on her upper lip(despite her mask of thickly caked makeup designed to hide the sore) and she does a minute or two showing pictures of the aftermath of the tornadoes yesterday in Tennessee and of course the first picture she shows made me laugh - a picture of a Dr. Pepper machine destroyed by the storms. OH NO...NOT THE DR. PEPPER! Like that was one of the worst results of the storms... a knocked over smashed Dr. Pepper machine - that's the first picture they decide to show. Screw the 57+ who died and the hundreds injured...THERE'S A DR. PEPPER MACHINE DOWN! Now that's funny. But it got even better right after when they cut to commercial from the reporter with the huge cold sore - a commercial for Valtrex! I'm in comedy friggin heaven at this point - a Valtrex commercial right after a report by someone who obviously either needed Valtrex or forgot to take her dose of Valtrex. I'm still trying to figure out if that was planned that way or if someone in the control booth was trying to humiliate the poor girl or it was just coincidental but no matter how it came about it was friggin funny!

Bringing Sexy Back My Ass

For those of you "not in the know" - there is a plethora of gay "hookup sites" on the Internet where a certain portion (mostly lonely troll like creatures and "men" who act like stupid little boys and are incapable of maintaining a "relationship" any longer than it takes them to "get their rocks off."

My favorite of these sites is one called Manhunt. Manhunt is very well known as THE SITE to be on if you want to meet other "men" for anonymous (and usually highly unsatisfying if not downright creepy) sex AND a great place to make Crystal Meth connections. Now Manhunt has tried for years to claim that they promote "safer sex" and are warriors in the fight against this terrible drug addiction that has afflicted the gay community here in DC. But despite their BS claims, the fact of the matter is Manhunt is one of the prime reasons STD's and Meth addiction is on the rise in the area. Several years ago they even implemented rules for profiles that included "No references to drug use or the term PNP (Party and Play)" - BUT GET THIS - what they did to counteract that decision was to add a checkbox in the profiles where you can check off "NO PNP". So they just made it that much easier to find Meth and the poor schmucks that are addicted to it by simply finding the profiles that DON'T have NO PNP checked off. To my knowledge Manhunt is THE ONLY site with that kind of stupid feature. The owners and moderators of this site should be fined and injected with a vial of a combination of HIV tainted blood mixed with a healthy dose of Crystal Meth. They don't care about the gay community in any way - they care about making money off of us before we die from the diseases we will probably pickup from the people on this site or become such pathetic meth freaks we are no longer able to use a computer (much less speak coherently). Personally, I think the people behind Manhunt are also the people behind the influx of Crystal Meth, but since I don't have any proof that's just my theory.

But my favorite part of the site these days (I love good entertainment and tweaked out drug addled gay men are funny as all hell) is the headlines people use for their profiles. My favorite is "Bringing Sexy Back" - the absurdity of which is mind boggling... the best these poor saps can hope for is to bring STD's and drug addiction back. These pathetic, delusional men couldn't bring sey back if they were Raquel Welch in her prime. It's almost sad to see these people all becoming trolls before their time. Maybe Manhunt should change it's name to Trollhunt. My other favorites about this site is the amount of people who I know personally and or from my former profession working in a doctor's office who claim to be HIV negative when in fact some of them have been positive for 20 years. That and the middle aged guys who only date and/or hookup with kids half their age. Can we say this all together now?... GET OVER YOUR PETER PAN COMPLEX AND ACT LIKE MEN YOU JERKOFFS! Doesn't anyone know how to age gracefully anymore? Apparently in the gay community the answer is a resounding NO.

Then there are the "bug chasers." What, you may ask, in the world is a "bug chaser?" This is about to get ugly and very frightening... you see, "bug chasers" are guys who are lucky enough to be HIV negative but advertise in their ads that they want a poz guy to "give them the gift" That's right - they want to be infected! I've been HIV positive for over 25 years now and let me tell you stupid little moronic shits that HIV IS NOT FUN AND IT SURE AS FUCK ISN'T A CLUB YOU WANT TO JOIN! HIV has all but destroyed much of my life and stolen many of my life's opportunities from me. Taking pills every day gets old REAL FUCKING FAST boys.

You boys definitely AIN'T bringin sexy back...

What's "sexy" to me? Strings... connections... intimacy... knowing the name of the guy I'm doing it with is always hot too. I guess I'm just an old fashioned kind of guy that way.