Alabama Fried Chicken?

Generic Southern Fried Chicken?

Ok so I am watching TV tonight late. I do that a lot... I'm kind of an insomniac but that's not the focus of this here post... the point is the stupid strange shit I notice when I am watching late night TV. Maybe I am able to focus more on the stupid stuff I see late at night because there are less things to distract from it... I dunno.

Anyway... so I am watching late night TV and on comes a commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken. Looks tasty! Makes me want some. Only wait... there aren't any KFC's open at this time of night anywhere near here... why are they torturing me like that with a commercial for something I CAN'T GET? But that wasn't the real stupidity of the commercial. Oh noooooo... that was just the warm up stupidity. I notice in the background of the commercial a very familiar song and I think to myself... "hmmmm... self.... what IS that song? I remember it being really big when I was a teenager... what was that song? hmmm.... OH WAIT!! I REMEMBER...IT'S SWEET HOME ALABAMA!"

That's right...A-L-A-B-A-M-A. ALABAMA...

But wait... this is a commercial for KENTUCKY Fried Chicken. The song they are using is Sweet Home ALABAMA.

I am soooooooooo confused now. I'm not eating their food anymore because I find their whole operation highly suspicious now specifically because of that commercial. Something is VERY fishy at KFC (or AFC or whatever/wherever the hell they are). Oh wait... it can't be fishy they're a chicken joint.

Now I am even more confused... is it Kentucky or Alabama? Is it chicken or fish (or some strange genetically enhanced chicken mutant creature?)

Maybe it's Soylent Green. All I know is I'm not hungry anymore.

Merry Christmas

Depression

In her most recent HBO Comedy Special Blond and Bitchin', Rosanne Barr made a comment that, while very funny, made a lot of sense. She was talking about anti-depressants and how she hates them all. And then she posed the question - "Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe we are SUPPOSED to be depressed?? That maybe the world is soooooo fucked up that you should be depressed?" And you know if you think about it she's right on the mark. I believe the world is SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP and our resulting depression and anxiety is a NATURAL RESPONSE to these conditions that would normally cause us as a collective to WAKE THE FUCK UP and fix things before it's too late. Only problem is we have numbed ourselves to our natural response to the fucked up world around us by taking drugs that make EVERYTHING OK despite the fact that everything ISN'T OK. After all it is easier to take a pill than it is to take action in this world.

Geez now I'm depressed... I need a Xanax and a beer...

Hypocrisy

Recently South Park aired an episode that caused a lot of controversy. The episode centered around a big and extremely exclusive birthday costume party being thrown by Satan. The majority of the episode focused on Satan planning his party to be the biggest coolest bash EVER as he behaved like a whiny 16 year old girl about his outfit and the Ferrari cake he HAS to have and so forth. The controversy had nothing to do with any of that however... what got people insane was a bit that lasted less than a minute. As the party is going in full swing and Satan is greeting his guests none other than Steve Irwin - complete with a stingray barb through his chest - shows up. Satan looks at him and after a moment says "Dude...it's too soon... that's not funny... you're going to have to leave" (or something to that effect) to which Irwin replies "But I REALLY AM Steve Irwin!". After a moment Satan tells him he still has to leave because he HAS NO COSTUME (which I found really funny). It was that brief. But that's all it took to make people around the country go completely bonkers. Keep in mind Steve Irwin had just died a week or two before this episode was aired. People were calling for an apology from the creators of South Park (yea right... good luck with that!). People were calling for an apology from Comedy Central (South Park is their cash cow so don't expect any apology from them either). People were even calling for Comedy Central to CANCEL South Park altogether (NOT GONNA HAPPEN). And of course all of them were screaming "It's TOOOO SOOOON!"

Too soon eh? Hmmmmm... in that very same amount of time Bindi Irwin (the 8 year old daughter of Steve) had done numerous public appearances and work on a mini-series for Discovery Channel and has just released a kid's exercise video and is planning appearances for early January here in the US as well as several festivals in Australia. So apparently it's too soon to laugh about an admittedly strange (and kind of amusing) death but it isn't too soon for momma Irwin to exploit the living hell out of an 8 year old who should be playing on a swing set and not playing with snakes for paying crowds of hypocritical schmucks.

All I can say is "CRIKEY!"

Fire

This past weekend there was a very sad story in the news about a family living in a mobile home in West Virginia who were all killed in a fire caused by the kerosene heater they used to help keep warm. A forty year old man, his 36 year old wife and three small children all fell victim to the smoke and fire. Very tragic to be sure. Their home was burned pretty much to the ground with nothing left but ashes and bits of their burnt possessions. Naturally their neighbors and loved one were and are overcome with grief and sadness and needed a way to express those feelings. I'm embarrassed to admit that the way some of them expressed their emotion left me laughing hysterically for the rest of the news report. I know I'm not right in the head but hear me out - what some of these grief stricken folks did was to LEAVE LIT CANDLES at the burned out home of these poor people. Now I don't know about you but I don't really think bringing FIRE to a site where a family has just died in a FIRE is really such a good idea. My friends have argued that they were just trying to be thoughtful but i disagree with that BS. What they were doing was pure reaction without thought. They were doing what is common and traditional, despite the underlying inappropriateness of it. If they had been thinking they should have realized that the site of little burning flames on the site where people's friend's and family members just died from a fire might not be the most comforting image. Balloons maybe... teddy bears... flowers are always a nice touch. Really the most appropriate thing to leave would probably had been wreaths. But candles? FIRE?? uhm... I just can't help but find that incredibly funny. I mean, given what had already happened there maybe leaving a fire extinguisher there would be a good idea - especially with people leaving unattended candles there.

I know I'm not right in the head but that's just the way I think...