Sometime the very things that we perceive to be holding us down or back in life are actually the only thing holding us UP in life. Sometimes the burdens of our lives are the very things that give us strength and reason to live.
Life is all a matter of perspective. If you don't like the way things look try changing your point of view - altering your perspective. Sometimes what we see and how we see it all depends on the window we are looking through.
Think about it.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Outside In Inside Out
In an earlier post I spoke about the beginning of the "hippie movement" and the anniversary of the Human Be-In and so forth. So exactly what did happen to the hippies? Where are all you good people? You didn't all die off like dinosaurs wiped out by an Ice Age. You couldn't possibly have all OD'd... I mean I know there were a lot of goooooood drugs around in your day but some of you had to have survived right? Many of you joined the "establishment" with the concept that the only way to effect real change was from the inside out. So what happened? You succeeded in the first part of the mission. You got inside. You established yourselves in positions of control and power. So again I ask what happened? My theory is you just got lost. Those cubicles in those corporate offices can all get to looking the same - it's completely understandable. It's like a maze... they build them that way on purpose actually. Kind of like casinos... once you are inside it's almost impossible to find you way out until you are bankrupt - financially or in this case morally. But you've still got a job to do and not much time left to do it with. Try to remember who you were - who you still are inside. Try to find your way home. It's time to make the dreams of yesterday the reality of today or at the very least the hope for a better brighter tomorrow.
Maybe you just got comfortable... that too is understandable. All those shiney material things that make life so much simpler for us all... even the daily routine we have fallen into... the mundane never changing existence... there is something undeniably comforting in these things, despite the underlying sinister and soul destroying emptiness and pointlessness that lays just below the comfort zzzzzzzzzone. It's not just a comfort zone you see... it's become a comfort zzzzzzzzzzone. We've all fallen asleep at the wheel because we have become too damned comfortable.
Either way the dream is dying and if we don't wake up this existence will become the accepted reality for the next generations that follow. Instead of expecting and fighting for what is best for all mankind they will settle for what is best for themselves.
Now is the time to let our freak flags fly again. All we have to do is remember where we put them.
Maybe you just got comfortable... that too is understandable. All those shiney material things that make life so much simpler for us all... even the daily routine we have fallen into... the mundane never changing existence... there is something undeniably comforting in these things, despite the underlying sinister and soul destroying emptiness and pointlessness that lays just below the comfort zzzzzzzzzone. It's not just a comfort zone you see... it's become a comfort zzzzzzzzzzone. We've all fallen asleep at the wheel because we have become too damned comfortable.
Either way the dream is dying and if we don't wake up this existence will become the accepted reality for the next generations that follow. Instead of expecting and fighting for what is best for all mankind they will settle for what is best for themselves.
Now is the time to let our freak flags fly again. All we have to do is remember where we put them.
Fighting The Dragon
This is a copy of a post I made today on the Hep C board on the website for The Grateful Dead's bass player Phil Lesh located at http://www.phillesh.com.
Well here I go on a journey I wasn't expecting and really really don't want to go on. But I'm already on the path and as I've always said "if you can't go over something or under it or around it then the only way is to go through it" so off I go. Seems I tested positive for Hep C about 2 years ago. Don't know for sure how I got it and it doesn't matter anyway the end result is still the same. Got no one but myself to blame and all that crap. So we've been tracking my numbers since I tested positive, hoping I might be one of those rare lucky ones who just beats it without treatment. No such luck... after a few minor drops the VL started climbing like my liver was Mt. freaking Everest and it HAD to make it to the top before winter set in. Annoying little bastards. If I could I would get a shrink ray gun and shrink myself down to their size and go in and kick their butts myself but I digress... We had good reason to hope I was going to be one of the lucky ones because I am a long term survivor of HIV (I got it back before it even had a name) and have a history of surviving and thriving through things that normal people don't. Great - so I'm not normal. How very wonderful lol. Again I digress. I do that a lot. Anyway... bottom line is the time has come and it's time to start THE TREATMENT. Ugh! Peg Infuron once a week and a bunch of pills every day (like I don't take enough freaking pills every day as it is because of the HIV). Swell. High probability I'll feel like crap for a couple of days after the shot EVERY FREAKING WEEK FOR 48 WEEKS. Oh joy! High probability my HIV numbers (which have been undetectable for years and years now) will go FREAKING NUTS! Wow... this is sounding more and more enticing all the time ain't it? Pretty good chance that the treatment will mess up my thyroid and other important organs I might be wanting to continue to use in the future. Yeeeehaaa! Decent chance that my hair may fall out too thanks to the treatment. AHA! I got that one beat... I ALREADY SHAVED MY HEAD!! SO THERE! NYAHHH...
The truth is that the chance of success with this treatment is not all that great even for healthy people... for a LTS of HIV (that's Long Term Survivor of AIDS for those of you who don't know - aka known as "F*CK AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD DUDE?") the chances of success are statistically very low. But like I said I've beaten a lot of odds this is just one more uphill battle I have to fight. The one thing I learned early on when I found out I had HIV was that your mental approach to things makes all the difference. I BELIEVED I would beat it and I did. All of my friends at the time who tested positive believed they would die. They all did. Every last one of them. I believe that I will beat HEP C just as I have beaten HIV (as well as it can be beaten anyway). To quote my boys "I WILL GET BY I WILL SURVIVE"
Despite that belief though I admit here to a group of people that I don't even know (even though in truth that's not entirely true - we have probably danced together and smiled to one another at show after show and in some ways our souls have touched) something that I can not admit to those closest to me - I am scared as hell. I think that however is a normal and healthy response and it won't keep me from the battle ahead. Worst case scenario is the side effects are so bad that I can't take it and I quit the treatment and put up with the side effects of the HEP C until some of the new treaments become available. Best case scenario is a year from now the treatment has worked the HEP C is gone my HIV is still undetectable and I'm back to the good life again.
But wait! NO LIE HERE - as I am sitting here writing this I get a call from my GI guy (he's one of the best and I'm lucky to have him treating me)... he's gotten the results from some tests I did last week (I've got a mental block against what they were named but it involved the consumption of a large quantity of that lovely beverage BARIUM and if I ever catch up with the douche who came up with that stuff he's gonna pay dearly...) and the results weren't so great. Aside from confirming that I am "full of shit" (something my friends have often asserted about me) the test results also indicated that I may have gall bladder trouble and it ("it" being the gall bladder") may have to come out before we can begin the HEP treatments. I don't know why but my response has been an hour of laughing non stop and marvelling at the absurdity of this all. I mean I have never been a drinker (which isn't too say I haven't had a drink once in a while or been drunk a couple of times but those times have been VERY rare in my life). I've never been an IV drug user. So what kind of sick joke is this that's being played on me here eh? I get it... it's funny but jeeeeez.... enough is enough already. I'm fairly sure the uncontrollable laughter I am experiencing is at the very least a sign of hysteria if not an indicator of the beginning of a full blown mental breakdown but I'm seeing enough doctors right now and there's no more room on my schedule for any more doctor appointments or any more space in my belly for any more pills. They'll just have to deal with the psychotic laughter...
Oh well... let the battle begin. I'm up for it. I just hope this stupid little virus knows what it's up against.
To all of you who are on or have already been down this path you are my inspirations and my heroes... to those of you who are at the start of this battle let's have at it... time's a wasting and time is something that should never be wasted. We can be each other's strength and the one's who have gone before us can mark our goaline and cheer us on to victory. We can all slay the dragon before us if we just believe and never give up.
Peace and thanks to you all for being my friends and family without ever even realizing it.
Oh and special thanks to Phil for creating a place like this for freaks like us... get well bud I need to see you and your friends playing again SOON!! In the early 90's before Jerry passed there were times when literally the only thing that kept me alive was knowing the Grateful Dead were coming to RFK and I HAD to be well enough to see you guys play at least one more time... your music revitalized me (and so many others )then just as it does now... so thanks for keeping me alive!
Well here I go on a journey I wasn't expecting and really really don't want to go on. But I'm already on the path and as I've always said "if you can't go over something or under it or around it then the only way is to go through it" so off I go. Seems I tested positive for Hep C about 2 years ago. Don't know for sure how I got it and it doesn't matter anyway the end result is still the same. Got no one but myself to blame and all that crap. So we've been tracking my numbers since I tested positive, hoping I might be one of those rare lucky ones who just beats it without treatment. No such luck... after a few minor drops the VL started climbing like my liver was Mt. freaking Everest and it HAD to make it to the top before winter set in. Annoying little bastards. If I could I would get a shrink ray gun and shrink myself down to their size and go in and kick their butts myself but I digress... We had good reason to hope I was going to be one of the lucky ones because I am a long term survivor of HIV (I got it back before it even had a name) and have a history of surviving and thriving through things that normal people don't. Great - so I'm not normal. How very wonderful lol. Again I digress. I do that a lot. Anyway... bottom line is the time has come and it's time to start THE TREATMENT. Ugh! Peg Infuron once a week and a bunch of pills every day (like I don't take enough freaking pills every day as it is because of the HIV). Swell. High probability I'll feel like crap for a couple of days after the shot EVERY FREAKING WEEK FOR 48 WEEKS. Oh joy! High probability my HIV numbers (which have been undetectable for years and years now) will go FREAKING NUTS! Wow... this is sounding more and more enticing all the time ain't it? Pretty good chance that the treatment will mess up my thyroid and other important organs I might be wanting to continue to use in the future. Yeeeehaaa! Decent chance that my hair may fall out too thanks to the treatment. AHA! I got that one beat... I ALREADY SHAVED MY HEAD!! SO THERE! NYAHHH...
The truth is that the chance of success with this treatment is not all that great even for healthy people... for a LTS of HIV (that's Long Term Survivor of AIDS for those of you who don't know - aka known as "F*CK AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD DUDE?") the chances of success are statistically very low. But like I said I've beaten a lot of odds this is just one more uphill battle I have to fight. The one thing I learned early on when I found out I had HIV was that your mental approach to things makes all the difference. I BELIEVED I would beat it and I did. All of my friends at the time who tested positive believed they would die. They all did. Every last one of them. I believe that I will beat HEP C just as I have beaten HIV (as well as it can be beaten anyway). To quote my boys "I WILL GET BY I WILL SURVIVE"
Despite that belief though I admit here to a group of people that I don't even know (even though in truth that's not entirely true - we have probably danced together and smiled to one another at show after show and in some ways our souls have touched) something that I can not admit to those closest to me - I am scared as hell. I think that however is a normal and healthy response and it won't keep me from the battle ahead. Worst case scenario is the side effects are so bad that I can't take it and I quit the treatment and put up with the side effects of the HEP C until some of the new treaments become available. Best case scenario is a year from now the treatment has worked the HEP C is gone my HIV is still undetectable and I'm back to the good life again.
But wait! NO LIE HERE - as I am sitting here writing this I get a call from my GI guy (he's one of the best and I'm lucky to have him treating me)... he's gotten the results from some tests I did last week (I've got a mental block against what they were named but it involved the consumption of a large quantity of that lovely beverage BARIUM and if I ever catch up with the douche who came up with that stuff he's gonna pay dearly...) and the results weren't so great. Aside from confirming that I am "full of shit" (something my friends have often asserted about me) the test results also indicated that I may have gall bladder trouble and it ("it" being the gall bladder") may have to come out before we can begin the HEP treatments. I don't know why but my response has been an hour of laughing non stop and marvelling at the absurdity of this all. I mean I have never been a drinker (which isn't too say I haven't had a drink once in a while or been drunk a couple of times but those times have been VERY rare in my life). I've never been an IV drug user. So what kind of sick joke is this that's being played on me here eh? I get it... it's funny but jeeeeez.... enough is enough already. I'm fairly sure the uncontrollable laughter I am experiencing is at the very least a sign of hysteria if not an indicator of the beginning of a full blown mental breakdown but I'm seeing enough doctors right now and there's no more room on my schedule for any more doctor appointments or any more space in my belly for any more pills. They'll just have to deal with the psychotic laughter...
Oh well... let the battle begin. I'm up for it. I just hope this stupid little virus knows what it's up against.
To all of you who are on or have already been down this path you are my inspirations and my heroes... to those of you who are at the start of this battle let's have at it... time's a wasting and time is something that should never be wasted. We can be each other's strength and the one's who have gone before us can mark our goaline and cheer us on to victory. We can all slay the dragon before us if we just believe and never give up.
Peace and thanks to you all for being my friends and family without ever even realizing it.
Oh and special thanks to Phil for creating a place like this for freaks like us... get well bud I need to see you and your friends playing again SOON!! In the early 90's before Jerry passed there were times when literally the only thing that kept me alive was knowing the Grateful Dead were coming to RFK and I HAD to be well enough to see you guys play at least one more time... your music revitalized me (and so many others )then just as it does now... so thanks for keeping me alive!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Be-In Again
Turn on
Tune in
Drop out
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the "Gathering of the Tribes for a Human Be-In" in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park... the event that ushered in the "Summer of Love" and the counter-culture movement of the late 1960's. Flower Power! Peace and Love! Woodstock (the cool one not the 2 ripoff sequels)! Civil Rights! TWIGGY!
So what the hell happened?
The assasinations of JFK, MLK, RFK, Malcom X, the war in Vietnam, the deaths of Jimi, Janis, and Jim Morrison, the breakup of The Beatles, Kent State, Charlie Manson, NIXON. You name it... everything went KABLOOOOIE in a big way. And with all that pressure on the roof, the house was bound to cave in so to speak. Everybody abandoned the GREATER DREAM for the GREAT AMERICAN DREAM. Instead of turning on, tuning in and dropping out they opted to turn OFF, tune OUT, and drop IN to the great illusion/delusion. They sold out so they could buy all the material things that screamed I'M A SUCCESS and I'M BETTER THAN YOU. They kept up with the Jones' at the expense of their beliefs and the good of the world and society around them. They sold out to convenience and excess. They sacrificed the dreams and hopes they had for a better society in return for a better life for themselves. Instead of playing the game they became the game. They became citizen comrades. They bought the government cheese and begged for more.
But there's still hope. Trapped inside of each and everyone of these corporate drones still lives an old hippie waiting to be reborn.
So QUESTION AUTHORITY! Not just today but everyday. Don't believe everything you are told. Don't believe everything you see. In fact don't believe ANYTHING you are told or see. Research for yourselves. THINK FOR YOURSELVES! Do it now while it's still legal.
Tune in
Drop out
Today marks the 40th anniversary of the "Gathering of the Tribes for a Human Be-In" in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park... the event that ushered in the "Summer of Love" and the counter-culture movement of the late 1960's. Flower Power! Peace and Love! Woodstock (the cool one not the 2 ripoff sequels)! Civil Rights! TWIGGY!
So what the hell happened?
The assasinations of JFK, MLK, RFK, Malcom X, the war in Vietnam, the deaths of Jimi, Janis, and Jim Morrison, the breakup of The Beatles, Kent State, Charlie Manson, NIXON. You name it... everything went KABLOOOOIE in a big way. And with all that pressure on the roof, the house was bound to cave in so to speak. Everybody abandoned the GREATER DREAM for the GREAT AMERICAN DREAM. Instead of turning on, tuning in and dropping out they opted to turn OFF, tune OUT, and drop IN to the great illusion/delusion. They sold out so they could buy all the material things that screamed I'M A SUCCESS and I'M BETTER THAN YOU. They kept up with the Jones' at the expense of their beliefs and the good of the world and society around them. They sold out to convenience and excess. They sacrificed the dreams and hopes they had for a better society in return for a better life for themselves. Instead of playing the game they became the game. They became citizen comrades. They bought the government cheese and begged for more.
But there's still hope. Trapped inside of each and everyone of these corporate drones still lives an old hippie waiting to be reborn.
So QUESTION AUTHORITY! Not just today but everyday. Don't believe everything you are told. Don't believe everything you see. In fact don't believe ANYTHING you are told or see. Research for yourselves. THINK FOR YOURSELVES! Do it now while it's still legal.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
OH YESSS NANCY!
Ok so I'm getting ready to go to sleep tonite and I make the horrible mistake of flipping on CNN to check in on my sex kitten Nancy Grace. I knew I shouldn't have. Nancy for me is like great porn is for a sex addict or maybe a cute altar boy is for a priest (I know I know... that was wrong wasn't it?). But nevertheless I did it. I've got a serious Nancy habit and it MUST BE FED! Chances are I won't be able to sleep tonight... I'm going to be having one major prolonged mental orgasm over this one...
Here's the story:
A woman in Orlando and her husband who have a young baby are breaking up. Husband and his brother are at the house getting some of the husband things. Wife is distraught(not to mention drunk). At some point the husband's brother asks the wife "where is the baby?". The wife doesn't respond. The husband and his brother quickly locate the GREASED BABY in a 400 degree oven in the kitchen. Baby is saved, wife is arrested, husband gets his stuff (I guess). But Nancy is on a RAMPAGE and that's when she really gets me HOT! Now Nancy has on her show an EXPERT in psychology who is trying to explain to the oh-so-indignant Nancy that this poor woman has a mental disorder. Nancy's response is to scream something about not understanding how this could be considered a "psychotic" reaction. The EXPERT tries to make Nancy understand that greasing up and trying to bake your baby is probably a pretty strong indicator of a psychotic episode but of course our Great Lady Nancy The Superior won't have any of it and eventually dismisses the expert altogether in favor of other unknown Yentas that share the same opinions that she does. I think Stepford is missing some of it's women... But it gets better. Then Nancy gets herself in a tizzy about the fact that this woman will be getting out of jail on a $1500 bond and that maybe she will try to cook and eat her baby again! "BUT", says Nancy, "before she gets out she will be getting a nice meal in jail of Turkey and Gravy and sweet potatoes and vegetables and even some sort of dessert!" My guess is Nancy was thinking to herself "How DARE they feed this horrible insane woman? She has a child all greased up and ready to eat when she gets home doesnt she?" Hmmmm... I wonder what the crazy lady used for seasoning the baby? (I know I know... that was wrong...)
Oh I soooooooo want to be that bitch Nancy Grace!
I need a tissue now...
Here's the story:
A woman in Orlando and her husband who have a young baby are breaking up. Husband and his brother are at the house getting some of the husband things. Wife is distraught(not to mention drunk). At some point the husband's brother asks the wife "where is the baby?". The wife doesn't respond. The husband and his brother quickly locate the GREASED BABY in a 400 degree oven in the kitchen. Baby is saved, wife is arrested, husband gets his stuff (I guess). But Nancy is on a RAMPAGE and that's when she really gets me HOT! Now Nancy has on her show an EXPERT in psychology who is trying to explain to the oh-so-indignant Nancy that this poor woman has a mental disorder. Nancy's response is to scream something about not understanding how this could be considered a "psychotic" reaction. The EXPERT tries to make Nancy understand that greasing up and trying to bake your baby is probably a pretty strong indicator of a psychotic episode but of course our Great Lady Nancy The Superior won't have any of it and eventually dismisses the expert altogether in favor of other unknown Yentas that share the same opinions that she does. I think Stepford is missing some of it's women... But it gets better. Then Nancy gets herself in a tizzy about the fact that this woman will be getting out of jail on a $1500 bond and that maybe she will try to cook and eat her baby again! "BUT", says Nancy, "before she gets out she will be getting a nice meal in jail of Turkey and Gravy and sweet potatoes and vegetables and even some sort of dessert!" My guess is Nancy was thinking to herself "How DARE they feed this horrible insane woman? She has a child all greased up and ready to eat when she gets home doesnt she?" Hmmmm... I wonder what the crazy lady used for seasoning the baby? (I know I know... that was wrong...)
Oh I soooooooo want to be that bitch Nancy Grace!
I need a tissue now...
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
My Secret Indulgence
I have a deep dark secret that I can no longer keep inside... it's eating me alive and I can't take it anymore!
So here it goes... deeeeep breath...
I AM IN LOVE WITH NANCY GRACE!
I know it's wrong. I know I need help. Here I am a flaming liberal and yet I can't help but finding myself soooooooooo turned on by Nancy.
I can't help myself... she's just so deliciously self righteous and superior and opinionated and just perfectly evil. It's mesmerizing.
Late at night when everyone is asleep I like to spend some quiet time watching Nancy while I rub one out as she works herself into one of her supremely erotic frenzies while she attacks people who are mentally unbalanced, falsely accused, and generally just not as fortunate to have the upbringing and opportunities she has had in life.
Ohhhhhhhh Naaaaancy....PLEASE... just be a little more superior...I'M ALMOST THERE!!!
oh yeaaa that was good - now let me get a tissue and a bottle of whiskey to drown my shame in...
So here it goes... deeeeep breath...
I AM IN LOVE WITH NANCY GRACE!
I know it's wrong. I know I need help. Here I am a flaming liberal and yet I can't help but finding myself soooooooooo turned on by Nancy.
I can't help myself... she's just so deliciously self righteous and superior and opinionated and just perfectly evil. It's mesmerizing.
Late at night when everyone is asleep I like to spend some quiet time watching Nancy while I rub one out as she works herself into one of her supremely erotic frenzies while she attacks people who are mentally unbalanced, falsely accused, and generally just not as fortunate to have the upbringing and opportunities she has had in life.
Ohhhhhhhh Naaaaancy....PLEASE... just be a little more superior...I'M ALMOST THERE!!!
oh yeaaa that was good - now let me get a tissue and a bottle of whiskey to drown my shame in...
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Nice Apocalypse We're Having eh?
Recently I have been hearing a lot of people making comments like "Nice weather we're having" or "it's a beautiful day today" and so on...
It kind of creeps me out. You see I don't live in Florida or Hawaii or Southern California or any of those nice southern places where weather like this might be considered at least somewhat normal. I live in Washington DC. It's not April here. It's January 5th at 1 AM and the weather is in the MID 60's!
Mission control... I think we may have a problem. Something is amiss... Something has gone horrible awry here folks.
This isn't "nice weather" it isn't a "beautiful day" - the truth is it's F**KING FREAKY and if any of the people who say these things had any sense whatsoever they'd be hiding under their beds and praying to whatever GOD they believe in while they wait for it to start raining frogs outside. But nooooooo... instead they revel blindly in the newest signs of the impending environmental disaster that is about to reshape our planet. But hey at least we'll all have great tans for the apocalypse eh?
go here and learn something while you still can http://www.climatecrisis.net
It kind of creeps me out. You see I don't live in Florida or Hawaii or Southern California or any of those nice southern places where weather like this might be considered at least somewhat normal. I live in Washington DC. It's not April here. It's January 5th at 1 AM and the weather is in the MID 60's!
Mission control... I think we may have a problem. Something is amiss... Something has gone horrible awry here folks.
This isn't "nice weather" it isn't a "beautiful day" - the truth is it's F**KING FREAKY and if any of the people who say these things had any sense whatsoever they'd be hiding under their beds and praying to whatever GOD they believe in while they wait for it to start raining frogs outside. But nooooooo... instead they revel blindly in the newest signs of the impending environmental disaster that is about to reshape our planet. But hey at least we'll all have great tans for the apocalypse eh?
go here and learn something while you still can http://www.climatecrisis.net
Friday, January 05, 2007
New Year
Ok... so it's a NEW YEAR. I guess I should have some resolutions. Actually I have a few in mind but I am kind of on the fence as to how realistic they are and how serious I am about keeping them. It's not like I have a lot of bad habits anyway... I'm not overweight so losing a few pounds isn't on my list. I don't drink so ditto there. I'm not a smoker so nothing there. Really my biggest fault is I am lazy as hell and have been all my life. I don't really think that's going to change so that's not on the list. And besides, that's also a good excuse for putting off my resolutions for a while... actually I like to wait until somewhere near the end of the year to really commit to that year's Resolutions. That way I'm more likely to pick ones that I am less likely to break... after all if I've made it 3/4 of the way through the year without doing something I shouldn't or I have done something to better myself then I am probably not going to mess it up in the last couple of months of the year. It's a good policy and I am sticking with it.
Of course this has all been a joke... I don't DO New Year's Resolutions. Why should I? After all I am already perfect and why would I want to mess with that?
Maybe I should seek out a good shrink this year... lol
Of course this has all been a joke... I don't DO New Year's Resolutions. Why should I? After all I am already perfect and why would I want to mess with that?
Maybe I should seek out a good shrink this year... lol
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Alabama Fried Chicken?
Generic Southern Fried Chicken?
Ok so I am watching TV tonight late. I do that a lot... I'm kind of an insomniac but that's not the focus of this here post... the point is the stupid strange shit I notice when I am watching late night TV. Maybe I am able to focus more on the stupid stuff I see late at night because there are less things to distract from it... I dunno.
Anyway... so I am watching late night TV and on comes a commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken. Looks tasty! Makes me want some. Only wait... there aren't any KFC's open at this time of night anywhere near here... why are they torturing me like that with a commercial for something I CAN'T GET? But that wasn't the real stupidity of the commercial. Oh noooooo... that was just the warm up stupidity. I notice in the background of the commercial a very familiar song and I think to myself... "hmmmm... self.... what IS that song? I remember it being really big when I was a teenager... what was that song? hmmm.... OH WAIT!! I REMEMBER...IT'S SWEET HOME ALABAMA!"
That's right...A-L-A-B-A-M-A. ALABAMA...
But wait... this is a commercial for KENTUCKY Fried Chicken. The song they are using is Sweet Home ALABAMA.
I am soooooooooo confused now. I'm not eating their food anymore because I find their whole operation highly suspicious now specifically because of that commercial. Something is VERY fishy at KFC (or AFC or whatever/wherever the hell they are). Oh wait... it can't be fishy they're a chicken joint.
Now I am even more confused... is it Kentucky or Alabama? Is it chicken or fish (or some strange genetically enhanced chicken mutant creature?)
Maybe it's Soylent Green. All I know is I'm not hungry anymore.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Depression
In her most recent HBO Comedy Special Blond and Bitchin', Rosanne Barr made a comment that, while very funny, made a lot of sense. She was talking about anti-depressants and how she hates them all. And then she posed the question - "Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe we are SUPPOSED to be depressed?? That maybe the world is soooooo fucked up that you should be depressed?" And you know if you think about it she's right on the mark. I believe the world is SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP and our resulting depression and anxiety is a NATURAL RESPONSE to these conditions that would normally cause us as a collective to WAKE THE FUCK UP and fix things before it's too late. Only problem is we have numbed ourselves to our natural response to the fucked up world around us by taking drugs that make EVERYTHING OK despite the fact that everything ISN'T OK. After all it is easier to take a pill than it is to take action in this world.
Geez now I'm depressed... I need a Xanax and a beer...
Geez now I'm depressed... I need a Xanax and a beer...
Hypocrisy
Recently South Park aired an episode that caused a lot of controversy. The episode centered around a big and extremely exclusive birthday costume party being thrown by Satan. The majority of the episode focused on Satan planning his party to be the biggest coolest bash EVER as he behaved like a whiny 16 year old girl about his outfit and the Ferrari cake he HAS to have and so forth. The controversy had nothing to do with any of that however... what got people insane was a bit that lasted less than a minute. As the party is going in full swing and Satan is greeting his guests none other than Steve Irwin - complete with a stingray barb through his chest - shows up. Satan looks at him and after a moment says "Dude...it's too soon... that's not funny... you're going to have to leave" (or something to that effect) to which Irwin replies "But I REALLY AM Steve Irwin!". After a moment Satan tells him he still has to leave because he HAS NO COSTUME (which I found really funny). It was that brief. But that's all it took to make people around the country go completely bonkers. Keep in mind Steve Irwin had just died a week or two before this episode was aired. People were calling for an apology from the creators of South Park (yea right... good luck with that!). People were calling for an apology from Comedy Central (South Park is their cash cow so don't expect any apology from them either). People were even calling for Comedy Central to CANCEL South Park altogether (NOT GONNA HAPPEN). And of course all of them were screaming "It's TOOOO SOOOON!"
Too soon eh? Hmmmmm... in that very same amount of time Bindi Irwin (the 8 year old daughter of Steve) had done numerous public appearances and work on a mini-series for Discovery Channel and has just released a kid's exercise video and is planning appearances for early January here in the US as well as several festivals in Australia. So apparently it's too soon to laugh about an admittedly strange (and kind of amusing) death but it isn't too soon for momma Irwin to exploit the living hell out of an 8 year old who should be playing on a swing set and not playing with snakes for paying crowds of hypocritical schmucks.
All I can say is "CRIKEY!"
Too soon eh? Hmmmmm... in that very same amount of time Bindi Irwin (the 8 year old daughter of Steve) had done numerous public appearances and work on a mini-series for Discovery Channel and has just released a kid's exercise video and is planning appearances for early January here in the US as well as several festivals in Australia. So apparently it's too soon to laugh about an admittedly strange (and kind of amusing) death but it isn't too soon for momma Irwin to exploit the living hell out of an 8 year old who should be playing on a swing set and not playing with snakes for paying crowds of hypocritical schmucks.
All I can say is "CRIKEY!"
Fire
This past weekend there was a very sad story in the news about a family living in a mobile home in West Virginia who were all killed in a fire caused by the kerosene heater they used to help keep warm. A forty year old man, his 36 year old wife and three small children all fell victim to the smoke and fire. Very tragic to be sure. Their home was burned pretty much to the ground with nothing left but ashes and bits of their burnt possessions. Naturally their neighbors and loved one were and are overcome with grief and sadness and needed a way to express those feelings. I'm embarrassed to admit that the way some of them expressed their emotion left me laughing hysterically for the rest of the news report. I know I'm not right in the head but hear me out - what some of these grief stricken folks did was to LEAVE LIT CANDLES at the burned out home of these poor people. Now I don't know about you but I don't really think bringing FIRE to a site where a family has just died in a FIRE is really such a good idea. My friends have argued that they were just trying to be thoughtful but i disagree with that BS. What they were doing was pure reaction without thought. They were doing what is common and traditional, despite the underlying inappropriateness of it. If they had been thinking they should have realized that the site of little burning flames on the site where people's friend's and family members just died from a fire might not be the most comforting image. Balloons maybe... teddy bears... flowers are always a nice touch. Really the most appropriate thing to leave would probably had been wreaths. But candles? FIRE?? uhm... I just can't help but find that incredibly funny. I mean, given what had already happened there maybe leaving a fire extinguisher there would be a good idea - especially with people leaving unattended candles there.
I know I'm not right in the head but that's just the way I think...
I know I'm not right in the head but that's just the way I think...
Friday, September 15, 2006
The Dumbing of the Nation
Here's some food for thought:
30 years ago this country elected a President who had been a NUCLEAR ENGINEER in the military. His name was Jimmy Carter.
30 years later we have a President who was appointed by the US Supreme Court (but not actually elected for the job in any way) who CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE THE WORD NUCLEAR!
If this thought doesn't make you EXTREMELY uneasy then there is a pretty good chance that you have fallen victim to the DUMBING OF THIS NATION. Heck - you might even be partially responsible for this disturbing trend towards idiocy and mediocrity. It's ok - the good ole US Government has been conditioning us for this for many a year so it's not really our faults. We shop at Walmart (mostly because we can't afford to shop anywhere else anymore), we eat "Fast Food" by the tons (and are well on our way to weighing tons in the process), we mindlessly (and in some cases joyfully) rape and destroy the very environment that allows us to exist, and so on and so on...
In the words of the immortal Frank Zappa - "People, we is dumb ALL OVER! (and maybe even a little ugly on the side)"
And as Timothy Leary was so famous for saying - "QUESTION AUTHORITY!! THINK FOR YOURSELVES!"
In the end you (and your obnoxious offspring) will be glad you did...
30 years ago this country elected a President who had been a NUCLEAR ENGINEER in the military. His name was Jimmy Carter.
30 years later we have a President who was appointed by the US Supreme Court (but not actually elected for the job in any way) who CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE THE WORD NUCLEAR!
If this thought doesn't make you EXTREMELY uneasy then there is a pretty good chance that you have fallen victim to the DUMBING OF THIS NATION. Heck - you might even be partially responsible for this disturbing trend towards idiocy and mediocrity. It's ok - the good ole US Government has been conditioning us for this for many a year so it's not really our faults. We shop at Walmart (mostly because we can't afford to shop anywhere else anymore), we eat "Fast Food" by the tons (and are well on our way to weighing tons in the process), we mindlessly (and in some cases joyfully) rape and destroy the very environment that allows us to exist, and so on and so on...
In the words of the immortal Frank Zappa - "People, we is dumb ALL OVER! (and maybe even a little ugly on the side)"
And as Timothy Leary was so famous for saying - "QUESTION AUTHORITY!! THINK FOR YOURSELVES!"
In the end you (and your obnoxious offspring) will be glad you did...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
REALITY
Click on the link in the title (or just click on it here - http://www.hereinreality.com/).
Read it.
Re-read it.
Get a dictionary if needed to help you understand some of the words that have more than 7 or 8 letters in them (I know I know - BIG WORDS ARE JUST SOOO HARD TO SAY AND EVEN HARDER TO UNDERSTAND!)
Then click on this link here ---->http://www.hereinreality.com/911/ - download the brochure (you're gonna need Acrobat Reader for it - it's a free download and you should already have it on your computer anyway you schmuck).
Read the brochure.
Re-read the brochure.
Distribute a million copies of the brochure.
And when election time rolls around how about maybe actually researching the issues our nation is facing and making informed decisions when you (theoretically) go to vote (which most of you can't be bothered to do anyway).
Ehhh.. never mind don't bother doing any research - just use your common sense and
Read it.
Re-read it.
Get a dictionary if needed to help you understand some of the words that have more than 7 or 8 letters in them (I know I know - BIG WORDS ARE JUST SOOO HARD TO SAY AND EVEN HARDER TO UNDERSTAND!)
Then click on this link here ---->http://www.hereinreality.com/911/ - download the brochure (you're gonna need Acrobat Reader for it - it's a free download and you should already have it on your computer anyway you schmuck).
Read the brochure.
Re-read the brochure.
Distribute a million copies of the brochure.
And when election time rolls around how about maybe actually researching the issues our nation is facing and making informed decisions when you (theoretically) go to vote (which most of you can't be bothered to do anyway).
Ehhh.. never mind don't bother doing any research - just use your common sense and
DON'T VOTE REPUBLICAN
(and do the country a favor and don't vote for the 3rd party douchebag who doesnt have a snowballs chance in hell of winning because you somehow have gotten it into your head that doing so makes some sort of statement that matters... you schmucks are just making things easier for the Neo Nazi pricks who are quietly shredding the US Constitution while they laugh at your stupid futile gesture against THE SYSTEM. Yea I agree this country needs more than 2 parties but right now let's just concentrate on getting our country back from the ultra right wing scumbags and corporate barons that we handed the keys over to when we let the Supreme Court pick the President instead of letting the people decide)
Monday, June 12, 2006
Anthropophobia
I think I am developing a very serious case of Anthropophobia. Anthropophobia is the fear of people and/or society. I don't have many phobias and I really think everyone should have at least one crippling fear so I did some research and discovered that Anthropophobia was the PHOBIA FOR ME! And if you had any sense at all it would be your number one phobia too.
Here's why...
EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS (OR IS WELL ON THEIR WAY TO BECOMING) COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS!
Want proof?
A judge recently in Florida ordered two opposing lawyers in a case who were unable to agree on ANYTHING (even the smallest little details like where witness depositions would take place) to resolve their disagreements by playing PAPER, SCISSORS, STONE. Of course it is Florida we are talking about here... they don't even know how to vote down there so that's not so crazy I suppose.
But wait there's more!
Arizona - 2 parents have been recently charged with rewarding their children for good behaviour by giving them MARIJUANA. Actually... when I think about it I wish I had parents like that - I would have done a LOT better in school. At least they were taking some sort of interest in their children's lives and trying to encourage them to do their best. That's better than the majority of parents do these days.
New York - Some dipshit would-be criminal tried to rob an auto parts store Rochester. The employees responded to his robbery attempt by beating the living shit out of him with a metal pipe. He survived. He's sueing them. Well I guess he was just trying to do his job (hey everyone needs to fill SOME position in this society after all)... how would YOU feel if you got the shit beat out of you for doing your job?
Utah - A lady was arrested for lewdness for exposing herself in a store. Seems she was riding around in the store in a motorized cart with her pants around her ankles and no underwear on. I wonder if the store was cited for any health code violations? The woman said she was in town with a travelling circus but had been left behind when they left town. Ahhh those crazy circus folk... what would we do without them?
Those are just a few examples I grabbed out of the news online today but you don't have to look very far or hard to see what I mean... just take the time and really observe the people around you... hell you might be shopping right next to stranded circus folk and not even know it. People around you might be making all of their decisions based on the outcome of a children's game! Who know's? It might be how the parent's of those kids in Arizona came to the decision to give their kids pot as a reward... who the fuck knows? You may be sued for defending yourself against a criminal attack... and the resulting lawsuit may be decided by a lively round of PAPER, SCISSORS, STONE!
See what I mean?
The whole world is going FUCKING INSANE!
I suggest staying inside and waiting it out.
And if Anthropophobia isn't for you check out http://phobialist.com/ and get the phobia best suited to your needs.
You'll be glad you did... I know I am!
Here's why...
EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS (OR IS WELL ON THEIR WAY TO BECOMING) COMPLETELY FUCKING NUTS!
Want proof?
A judge recently in Florida ordered two opposing lawyers in a case who were unable to agree on ANYTHING (even the smallest little details like where witness depositions would take place) to resolve their disagreements by playing PAPER, SCISSORS, STONE. Of course it is Florida we are talking about here... they don't even know how to vote down there so that's not so crazy I suppose.
But wait there's more!
Arizona - 2 parents have been recently charged with rewarding their children for good behaviour by giving them MARIJUANA. Actually... when I think about it I wish I had parents like that - I would have done a LOT better in school. At least they were taking some sort of interest in their children's lives and trying to encourage them to do their best. That's better than the majority of parents do these days.
New York - Some dipshit would-be criminal tried to rob an auto parts store Rochester. The employees responded to his robbery attempt by beating the living shit out of him with a metal pipe. He survived. He's sueing them. Well I guess he was just trying to do his job (hey everyone needs to fill SOME position in this society after all)... how would YOU feel if you got the shit beat out of you for doing your job?
Utah - A lady was arrested for lewdness for exposing herself in a store. Seems she was riding around in the store in a motorized cart with her pants around her ankles and no underwear on. I wonder if the store was cited for any health code violations? The woman said she was in town with a travelling circus but had been left behind when they left town. Ahhh those crazy circus folk... what would we do without them?
Those are just a few examples I grabbed out of the news online today but you don't have to look very far or hard to see what I mean... just take the time and really observe the people around you... hell you might be shopping right next to stranded circus folk and not even know it. People around you might be making all of their decisions based on the outcome of a children's game! Who know's? It might be how the parent's of those kids in Arizona came to the decision to give their kids pot as a reward... who the fuck knows? You may be sued for defending yourself against a criminal attack... and the resulting lawsuit may be decided by a lively round of PAPER, SCISSORS, STONE!
See what I mean?
The whole world is going FUCKING INSANE!
I suggest staying inside and waiting it out.
And if Anthropophobia isn't for you check out http://phobialist.com/ and get the phobia best suited to your needs.
You'll be glad you did... I know I am!
Saturday, June 10, 2006
End of The World Theory
I have a theory.
You probably won't like it much.
To tell the truth I don't like it much either.
In fact just presenting my theory may cause the end of the world as we know it.
But what the hell... if my theory is correct than it doesn't really matter anyway.
My theory is this:
THE WORLD HAS ALREADY COME TO AN END!
We just haven't noticed yet.
We're like the drunk guy at the party that ended hours ago but is still there slumped in a corner drooling all over himself.
Ugly thought isn't it?
I don't know exactly how to prove my theory but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Just think about all the weirdness in the world these days. It can't be coincidental - things are just too strange for this to be the real world.
You know in your hearts I am right don't you?
But it's ok - apparently if you just ignore the End of The World it won't matter.
But for the sake of humanity DON'T PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND - you might just disappear.
You probably won't like it much.
To tell the truth I don't like it much either.
In fact just presenting my theory may cause the end of the world as we know it.
But what the hell... if my theory is correct than it doesn't really matter anyway.
My theory is this:
THE WORLD HAS ALREADY COME TO AN END!
We just haven't noticed yet.
We're like the drunk guy at the party that ended hours ago but is still there slumped in a corner drooling all over himself.
Ugly thought isn't it?
I don't know exactly how to prove my theory but I'm pretty sure I'm right. Just think about all the weirdness in the world these days. It can't be coincidental - things are just too strange for this to be the real world.
You know in your hearts I am right don't you?
But it's ok - apparently if you just ignore the End of The World it won't matter.
But for the sake of humanity DON'T PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND - you might just disappear.
Monday, June 05, 2006
25 Years
Wow... 25 years.
25 years ago today the federal government issued a warning that 5 gay men in L.A. had died from a rare form of pneumonia.
25 years ago today the yet to be identified HIV virus first made the news.
Of course at that time no one knew the pneumonia cases were linked to a virus that would change the face of the world... only that something strange was happening to gay men all across the country.
I was 17 years old at the time. It's entirely possible that I had already contracted the virus... I tested positive a few years later, just after I had turned 21 or so. You would think that a person would remember the exact date that they received such life changing news as that but not me. I remember the day but not the date. The date wasn't (and isn't) important to me... it's not like I was going to celebrate the anniversary of what (at the time anyway) was my receipt of a death sentence. At that time massive doses of AZT was pretty much the only treatment offered and that was killing more people than the disease itself was so either way the general thinking was that anyone who got HIV would be dead within 3 - 5 years on average. So it wasn't like I was expecting to be around long enough to remember the date I tested postive anyway. When I tested positive my immune system was pretty messed up and the doctor who gave me my results at the free clinic told me it was likely I had been carrying the virus for some time judging from the condition of my immune system. I wasn't really all that surprised... I had been a pretty horny (and sexually active) teenager and had been having anonymous sexual encounters with men in public restrooms since I was 13 or 14 (hey - at least I am honest about it).
So it's entirely possible that on the day the government first reported the strange pnuemonia cases in LA the very same virus that had killed those men had already made it's way across the country and into my body and was courseing through my veins at the very moment that announcement was being made.
That's a pretty weird thought to me now.
So it's pretty clear now that by the time anyone realized something was wrong it was already too late. But at first no one really thought it was anything to worry about. There were whispers of a "gay cancer" but not many people took that seriously - I mean come on - a cancer that only targets gay people?? PLEASE! Just another government trick to keep us from doing our thing... we ain't gonna fall for that shit! Hell we had just come into our own - the gay rights movement was in full swing and we were finally free to be ourselves in the world... we were like the teenagers of life - full of energy and hope and momentum and strength and we thought we were invincible. So naturally we thought "There ain't no "gay cancer - they're just trying to scare us back into the closet" - and we were right. Partly anyway.
Of course there was and is no gay cancer and in fact no "gay disease" of any kind - no known virus gives a shit about who you are doing the nasty with all they care about is a nice warm host to live in and reproduce in. Viruses don't make judgments you see. At least we were right about that. But that is a small comfort - the prevailing belief in the gay community that this "gay disease" was a bunch of BS soon became a deadly mistake. There was no real talk about "safe sex" at that time - no one that I knew in the gay community wore condoms - after all we couldn't get pregnant and if you got the usual STD's you could just go to the clinic and get a shot and BAM you were good as new and back out on the scene screwing anything that would let you. Of course, we didn't know that we were literally fucking each other to death until it was too late. We only woke up to the reality of the situation when people around us started getting sick and dying in numbers. And of course, by then it really was too late to stop the epidemic... it was already in full swing. Despite some people's belief that it could have been stopped and its impact lessened had the GOVT and other IMPORTANT PEOPLE WE CAN BLAME listened to groups like ACT UP and other activist groups - the truth is that the schmucks were every bit as clueless about the situation as the rest of us. My belief is the virus had already gained such a strong foothold in this country that by the time these organizations started making warnings IT WAS ALREADY WAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOOOO LATE! By that point that horse had done gotten out of the barn and screwed everthing that moved and they screwed 2 friends and so on and so on...
So... 25 years later and now an estimated 65 million people worldwide are infected with HIV and over 25 million people have died from it.
All in 25 years...
Kind of sobering isn't it?
25 years ago today the federal government issued a warning that 5 gay men in L.A. had died from a rare form of pneumonia.
25 years ago today the yet to be identified HIV virus first made the news.
Of course at that time no one knew the pneumonia cases were linked to a virus that would change the face of the world... only that something strange was happening to gay men all across the country.
I was 17 years old at the time. It's entirely possible that I had already contracted the virus... I tested positive a few years later, just after I had turned 21 or so. You would think that a person would remember the exact date that they received such life changing news as that but not me. I remember the day but not the date. The date wasn't (and isn't) important to me... it's not like I was going to celebrate the anniversary of what (at the time anyway) was my receipt of a death sentence. At that time massive doses of AZT was pretty much the only treatment offered and that was killing more people than the disease itself was so either way the general thinking was that anyone who got HIV would be dead within 3 - 5 years on average. So it wasn't like I was expecting to be around long enough to remember the date I tested postive anyway. When I tested positive my immune system was pretty messed up and the doctor who gave me my results at the free clinic told me it was likely I had been carrying the virus for some time judging from the condition of my immune system. I wasn't really all that surprised... I had been a pretty horny (and sexually active) teenager and had been having anonymous sexual encounters with men in public restrooms since I was 13 or 14 (hey - at least I am honest about it).
So it's entirely possible that on the day the government first reported the strange pnuemonia cases in LA the very same virus that had killed those men had already made it's way across the country and into my body and was courseing through my veins at the very moment that announcement was being made.
That's a pretty weird thought to me now.
So it's pretty clear now that by the time anyone realized something was wrong it was already too late. But at first no one really thought it was anything to worry about. There were whispers of a "gay cancer" but not many people took that seriously - I mean come on - a cancer that only targets gay people?? PLEASE! Just another government trick to keep us from doing our thing... we ain't gonna fall for that shit! Hell we had just come into our own - the gay rights movement was in full swing and we were finally free to be ourselves in the world... we were like the teenagers of life - full of energy and hope and momentum and strength and we thought we were invincible. So naturally we thought "There ain't no "gay cancer - they're just trying to scare us back into the closet" - and we were right. Partly anyway.
Of course there was and is no gay cancer and in fact no "gay disease" of any kind - no known virus gives a shit about who you are doing the nasty with all they care about is a nice warm host to live in and reproduce in. Viruses don't make judgments you see. At least we were right about that. But that is a small comfort - the prevailing belief in the gay community that this "gay disease" was a bunch of BS soon became a deadly mistake. There was no real talk about "safe sex" at that time - no one that I knew in the gay community wore condoms - after all we couldn't get pregnant and if you got the usual STD's you could just go to the clinic and get a shot and BAM you were good as new and back out on the scene screwing anything that would let you. Of course, we didn't know that we were literally fucking each other to death until it was too late. We only woke up to the reality of the situation when people around us started getting sick and dying in numbers. And of course, by then it really was too late to stop the epidemic... it was already in full swing. Despite some people's belief that it could have been stopped and its impact lessened had the GOVT and other IMPORTANT PEOPLE WE CAN BLAME listened to groups like ACT UP and other activist groups - the truth is that the schmucks were every bit as clueless about the situation as the rest of us. My belief is the virus had already gained such a strong foothold in this country that by the time these organizations started making warnings IT WAS ALREADY WAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOOOO LATE! By that point that horse had done gotten out of the barn and screwed everthing that moved and they screwed 2 friends and so on and so on...
So... 25 years later and now an estimated 65 million people worldwide are infected with HIV and over 25 million people have died from it.
All in 25 years...
Kind of sobering isn't it?
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
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