OH YESSS NANCY!

Ok so I'm getting ready to go to sleep tonite and I make the horrible mistake of flipping on CNN to check in on my sex kitten Nancy Grace. I knew I shouldn't have. Nancy for me is like great porn is for a sex addict or maybe a cute altar boy is for a priest (I know I know... that was wrong wasn't it?). But nevertheless I did it. I've got a serious Nancy habit and it MUST BE FED! Chances are I won't be able to sleep tonight... I'm going to be having one major prolonged mental orgasm over this one...

Here's the story:

A woman in Orlando and her husband who have a young baby are breaking up. Husband and his brother are at the house getting some of the husband things. Wife is distraught(not to mention drunk). At some point the husband's brother asks the wife "where is the baby?". The wife doesn't respond. The husband and his brother quickly locate the GREASED BABY in a 400 degree oven in the kitchen. Baby is saved, wife is arrested, husband gets his stuff (I guess). But Nancy is on a RAMPAGE and that's when she really gets me HOT! Now Nancy has on her show an EXPERT in psychology who is trying to explain to the oh-so-indignant Nancy that this poor woman has a mental disorder. Nancy's response is to scream something about not understanding how this could be considered a "psychotic" reaction. The EXPERT tries to make Nancy understand that greasing up and trying to bake your baby is probably a pretty strong indicator of a psychotic episode but of course our Great Lady Nancy The Superior won't have any of it and eventually dismisses the expert altogether in favor of other unknown Yentas that share the same opinions that she does. I think Stepford is missing some of it's women... But it gets better. Then Nancy gets herself in a tizzy about the fact that this woman will be getting out of jail on a $1500 bond and that maybe she will try to cook and eat her baby again! "BUT", says Nancy, "before she gets out she will be getting a nice meal in jail of Turkey and Gravy and sweet potatoes and vegetables and even some sort of dessert!" My guess is Nancy was thinking to herself "How DARE they feed this horrible insane woman? She has a child all greased up and ready to eat when she gets home doesnt she?" Hmmmm... I wonder what the crazy lady used for seasoning the baby? (I know I know... that was wrong...)

Oh I soooooooo want to be that bitch Nancy Grace!

I need a tissue now...